Saturday, August 25, 2007

Take my money. Please.

It's hot and humid, there was a snafu with Isaac's school schedule, Dave's worked until after 8 every night this week. School starts on Monday, for better or for worse, with me at the front of the classroom. There are just enough things still left undone to make me edgy. This afternoon I made one last trip to the Big Box Office Supply Store and crossed one more thing off of my list. Happy with my progress, I exited through the automatic doors.

Picture a table at the exit, covered with goodies bearing the D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) logo, and manned by a young lady, maybe early 20's.

She said:
"Ma'am, we're helping out the people at DARE today. May I tell you about the program? Do you have young children?"

I said:
"My youngest is 17, and I'm well aware of the program. I have a very high opinion of it. All of my kids participated in the program in elementary school"

"Would you like to purchase a t-shirt or mug to help fund the program?"

"No, not really, but I'd be happy to make a donation."

" how much were you thinking?"


"That will get you the mug or the t-shirt".

"I don't want the mug or the t-shirt, but I'll donate the $10".

(Rummage in wallet...pull out a ten, try to hand it to her).

"Well, there's tax involved. It's really $10.83".

"But I don't want the mug or the t-shirt. I'm just making a donation".

(Insert very confused look on girl's face)

"So what do I do with the t-shirt? I don't think I can take money unless you pay the tax"

(Picture me trying to thrust money toward her, and her backing away from me)

"But I don't want anything in return. I'm just DONATING THE MONEY!"

"Well, should I donate the shirt to someone, then?"

(My turn to look confused).

"Ummm, sure, that's fine with me".

"But you still owe me 83 cents!"

I did not pay 83 cents. Nor did I pass go, nor did I collect $200.

My children remind me occasionally of the year I danced with the Salvation Army Kettle Santa Claus. That's got nothing on the year I argued with the D.A.R.E. t-shirt lady...

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